[Don't turn it upside down or rub its belly? For Light's sake...
This whole thing just smacks of absurdity, but... well, the fact is, there's been a lot about Axel's life that has been absurd. Not the least of which has been losing his heart and being inducted into the Darkness Mafia. So all things considered, a fetch quest and a kidnapping barter hardly even ranks up there. He's still not sure this isn't just Allura (or Lance) messing with him, but he stands by his decision that he'd rather be made fun of than for Allura to be hurt. So he texts an affirmative and then quickly makes his way to Allura's house.
Upon arrival, he hesitates at the door. Is anyone even home? Is he supposed to knock, or have they all been taken? Okay, breaking and entering is still bad, even if it's for a potentially good reason, so... yeah, okay, he'll at least knock, instead of just barging in, he guesses. Or... wait, no, what if the kidnappers are inside and that pisses them off? He's not sure why he'd have to be the one to get this artifact if the kidnappers are already in the house, though...
Ugh, whatever, maybe he'll just ask.]
I'm at the treehouse, but I didn't knock, cuz I dunno if anyone's home or whatever. Um. Should I just go in?
[Someone is home. And it's not kidnappers but just one un-kidnapped princess. Just going about her day, working on some of the final touches of fixing her, Keith, and Lance's house after her unfortunate power surge the other night. It's only pure coincidence that Allura is passing near the front door at this time, but it's hard not to notice when someone is standing outside of the front door. Especially when that someone's bright red, spiky hair stands out like a sore thumb against the green foliage around him.
So when Axel is in the middle of typing the next message, the door opens.]
Axel?
[She smiles, pleasantly, if not a little confused. And definitely not kidnapped.] Is everything alright?
[As he's about to send the message, the door opens, and he jumps, startled. Was this a trap all along?? Have the kidnappers been waiting here to add him to their collection of victims??? Well, they've got another thing coming if they think--]
Wh-- Allura?
[Buh.]
You're okay? [He reaches out to take her shoulders before he's really thought about what he's doing, relieved that she seems perfectly all right and not, you know... bound and gagged or anything like that. He suspected from pretty much the get-go that this was all moogle-puffs anyway, but it's not until he sees her unharmed that he really acknowledges that he was actually worried anyway, despite the likelihood of having been punk'd. He heaves a sigh of relief and squeezes her shoulders, then releases them and gives her a grin.] Who am I kidding, of course you're okay. Nice prank, you seriously had me going, princess. If that was a test to see if I'd drop everything and come to your rescue or whatever, I hope this means I passed.
Edited (how does spelling work it is a mystery) 2018-10-15 00:28 (UTC)
[She smiles when he squeezes her shoulders, but everything else makes her frown. There's a few times that she opens her mouth to interject but Axel's talking and she's totally confused, as evidenced by the blank stare that he's getting, and her eyebrows knitting together.]
What are you talking about? A prank? [There's a lot to process right now and she's kind of looking around like maybe somewhere to the left or right of Axel might contain the answer to why he's talking nonsense.]
Axel, did you possibly drink something strange?
[That's usually the most likely culprit of weird behavior around here.]
[She looks very convincingly confused, and for a good moment or two, he's sure she's just milking this little joke for all it's worth. And then his long-suffering grin fades a bit at her question.]
Drink? No, unless that OJ in the fridge turned or something. [He studies her face a moment, and realizes she really doesn't seem to be faking this confusion at all. He's not sure yet just how good a liar she's capable of being, but she certainly seems sincerely as baffled as he is, which adds a whole new dimension to this entire thing.]
Wait, you... Didn't you send me a bunch of joke texts, saying you'd been kidnapped?
[Soon Axel will learn that Allura has the worst poker face in the entire universe.]
Kidnapped?
[Where does she even start with this? Now she's searching Axel's face for some kind of a joke, but she just shakes her head,]
That's impossible. I misplaced my phone, so I wouldn't have been able to send you any texts.
[With the weirdness going on with her powers, it was easy to forget exactly when she first was separated from the device. She just assumed it was somewhere in the mess of their house.]
[Okay, he's convinced now that she is in fact not pulling his leg at all. He'll make note of this poker face issue, but ferret it away for later. In the moment, there are more pressing concerns. He pulls out his phone and opens up the text thread, then hands the device to her, shaking his head.]
Well, somebody found it, and has been having a grand time, to say the least.
[He can't really be angry. Like... well played, honestly. He's more glad that it was a prank than he could ever be angry that Allura wasn't in danger.]
[She takes his device, holding it close to her face, as if that will somehow make sense of the mysterious string of messages. Most definitely not her. But sent from her device somehow? Which was still missing, ever since...
Suddenly-]
Richie! [Her face goes from normal to beat red in record time, voice tipping into a higher octave as she scrolls through the messages.] That's right! He stole it when- and then we- So I never! Ohh!
[Did you catch all of that? Also, a more clever person might try and take this opportunity to try and get back at Richie and mess with him, but Allura is not that person, and she's already impulsively pushing the CALL button. Whether he picks up or she gets sent to voicemail he'll get a cheerful message:]
Richie, what the quiznak do you think you are doing?
[not that he was expecting to get away with shit but for Pete's sakes, Keith was the only one who called him out unprompted. Then again, Axel was the most proactive. Hmm hmm...]
Until they smartened up? Seriously sweetie, it worries me. Is mister Axel still there? I want to give him points for tracking you down but if he bought it hook, line, and sinker? That's a powerful shame, honeychile. What happens when the chips really lay down?
[Unsurprising, but she’s still concerned by the way he’s talking about multiple conversations. And she hasn’t forgotten what started this whole mess to begin with: harassing her about her love life.]
Is there anyone else you messaged that I need to know about.
[sad that a grown ass man should amuse himself so callously]
Ah — well, Lance also knows I'm not you. But that's settled! It's all fine, kiddo, we're practically family now. We're having a barbecue on Sunday, you bring the ribs and I'll bring the baked beans, have one of your boys come along with the cornbread and we'll eat like kings!
[Richie why. At least nothing seems to be permanently broken or in need of too much mending. Axel seems to be enjoying himself, Keith is… well, there's nothing Richie could do to make that more awkward anyway, and surely Lance had a good laugh about it too. No harm but she’s save a sigh of relief until later because she’s still pretty peeved about the whole thing!
She doesn’t know if he deserves any answers after this so, with the flattest, most unamused voice she can muster:]
[You can hear the flop of his carcass into couch cushions as he takes his rest at last. Mission nearly accomplished.]
You see, I didn't know who to trust to get the phone back to you, and I wasn't about to go asking after a young lady's house on the network. I'd get lynch-mobbed. Even if I didn't, some shady fucker could go taking advantage of public announcements like that. Sooo...Axel's a good one, I take it?
[Oh. She supposes he didn't really have a good way of finding her. Especially since she vacated her home in Olympia. Hm.]
Axel is good, correct. [She says, glancing at Axel, who has been standing politely this whole time,] As are Keith and Lance, they are my fellow paladins and my friends.
[Friends. Don't read too much into the emphasis there.]
So all of this... [A wave of her hand, even if he can't see it.] nonsense was just testing them to see whom you could trust?
[Listen, Richie, it’s very complicated. And by all means this is much better than when she was romantically involved with someone who turned out to be a murderer. Don’t judge her life choices.]
It’s a little complicated, since we live in a tree.
[Then again, how many other people can say that. Nonetheless she gives him her address or general whereabouts because how does this work? In a tree outside of Wyver. It’s a nice place, really. More along the lines of those obnoxious rich people tree houses than a child’s fort.]
…Or I could come fetch it, since you were so kind as to keep it safe for me.
i can't believe we're still threading without axel on his own ic inbox
[Slumming it, if you ask him.] You can, if you're willing to make the trip. Please leave your guns and thugs at home. It's no trouble for me to send it out or meet you halfway, either.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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This whole thing just smacks of absurdity, but... well, the fact is, there's been a lot about Axel's life that has been absurd. Not the least of which has been losing his heart and being inducted into the Darkness Mafia. So all things considered, a fetch quest and a kidnapping barter hardly even ranks up there. He's still not sure this isn't just Allura (or Lance) messing with him, but he stands by his decision that he'd rather be made fun of than for Allura to be hurt. So he texts an affirmative and then quickly makes his way to Allura's house.
Upon arrival, he hesitates at the door. Is anyone even home? Is he supposed to knock, or have they all been taken? Okay, breaking and entering is still bad, even if it's for a potentially good reason, so... yeah, okay, he'll at least knock, instead of just barging in, he guesses. Or... wait, no, what if the kidnappers are inside and that pisses them off? He's not sure why he'd have to be the one to get this artifact if the kidnappers are already in the house, though...
Ugh, whatever, maybe he'll just ask.]
I'm at the treehouse, but I didn't knock, cuz I dunno if anyone's home or whatever. Um. Should I just go in?
activates our trap card!
So when Axel is in the middle of typing the next message, the door opens.]
Axel?
[She smiles, pleasantly, if not a little confused. And definitely not kidnapped.] Is everything alright?
it's time to D-D-D-dunk Richie in the toilet lbrh
Wh-- Allura?
[Buh.]
You're okay? [He reaches out to take her shoulders before he's really thought about what he's doing, relieved that she seems perfectly all right and not, you know... bound and gagged or anything like that. He suspected from pretty much the get-go that this was all moogle-puffs anyway, but it's not until he sees her unharmed that he really acknowledges that he was actually worried anyway, despite the likelihood of having been punk'd. He heaves a sigh of relief and squeezes her shoulders, then releases them and gives her a grin.] Who am I kidding, of course you're okay. Nice prank, you seriously had me going, princess. If that was a test to see if I'd drop everything and come to your rescue or whatever, I hope this means I passed.
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What are you talking about? A prank? [There's a lot to process right now and she's kind of looking around like maybe somewhere to the left or right of Axel might contain the answer to why he's talking nonsense.]
Axel, did you possibly drink something strange?
[That's usually the most likely culprit of weird behavior around here.]
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Drink? No, unless that OJ in the fridge turned or something. [He studies her face a moment, and realizes she really doesn't seem to be faking this confusion at all. He's not sure yet just how good a liar she's capable of being, but she certainly seems sincerely as baffled as he is, which adds a whole new dimension to this entire thing.]
Wait, you... Didn't you send me a bunch of joke texts, saying you'd been kidnapped?
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Kidnapped?
[Where does she even start with this? Now she's searching Axel's face for some kind of a joke, but she just shakes her head,]
That's impossible. I misplaced my phone, so I wouldn't have been able to send you any texts.
[With the weirdness going on with her powers, it was easy to forget exactly when she first was separated from the device. She just assumed it was somewhere in the mess of their house.]
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Well, somebody found it, and has been having a grand time, to say the least.
[He can't really be angry. Like... well played, honestly. He's more glad that it was a prank than he could ever be angry that Allura wasn't in danger.]
> CALL Richie
[She takes his device, holding it close to her face, as if that will somehow make sense of the mysterious string of messages. Most definitely not her. But sent from her device somehow? Which was still missing, ever since...
Suddenly-]
Richie! [Her face goes from normal to beat red in record time, voice tipping into a higher octave as she scrolls through the messages.] That's right! He stole it when- and then we- So I never! Ohh!
[Did you catch all of that? Also, a more clever person might try and take this opportunity to try and get back at Richie and mess with him, but Allura is not that person, and she's already impulsively pushing the CALL button. Whether he picks up or she gets sent to voicemail he'll get a cheerful message:]
Richie, what the quiznak do you think you are doing?
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Did you get—
[Ow, his ear. Richie goes still for a moment.
Then he's beaming bright on the airwaves.]
Alluuuura! Baby! Doll! There you are! He made it back to you, did he?
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Are you... Are you impersonating me?
[She's pacing in front of Axel, one hand curled in a fist while the other cradles the phone to her ear.]
Just how long were you going to go on with this?
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Until they smartened up? Seriously sweetie, it worries me. Is mister Axel still there? I want to give him points for tracking you down but if he bought it hook, line, and sinker? That's a powerful shame, honeychile. What happens when the chips really lay down?
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Axel is here, because you had him worried that I'd been kidnapped, and—
[Wait.]
What do you mean They?
[No... he couldn't have.]
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[ah...
The line goes silent. and then]
Tell Keith Uncle Randy says hi.
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I certainly hope Keith didn't believe that.
[There are multiple reasons why there can't be an Uncle Randy in Allura's life.
All of those reasons involving alien genocide.]That's my favourite icon
Richie gets the highest frequency of exasperated faces.
Is there anyone else you messaged that I need to know about.
[And apologize to?]
a badge of honor in trashmouth circles
Ah — well, Lance also knows I'm not you. But that's settled! It's all fine, kiddo, we're practically family now. We're having a barbecue on Sunday, you bring the ribs and I'll bring the baked beans, have one of your boys come along with the cornbread and we'll eat like kings!
Now. Can you clear something up for me?
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She doesn’t know if he deserves any answers after this so, with the flattest, most unamused voice she can muster:]
...What is it?
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[You can hear the flop of his carcass into couch cushions as he takes his rest at last. Mission nearly accomplished.]
You see, I didn't know who to trust to get the phone back to you, and I wasn't about to go asking after a young lady's house on the network. I'd get lynch-mobbed. Even if I didn't, some shady fucker could go taking advantage of public announcements like that. Sooo...Axel's a good one, I take it?
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Axel is good, correct. [She says, glancing at Axel, who has been standing politely this whole time,] As are Keith and Lance, they are my fellow paladins and my friends.
[Friends. Don't read too much into the emphasis there.]
So all of this... [A wave of her hand, even if he can't see it.] nonsense was just testing them to see whom you could trust?
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[your emphasis is highly suspect. don't think u can fool him]
More or less. I'd say seventy-five percent good intentions. How could I resist squeezing in a few shits and giggles?
Your address, Madam. Or his. Whichever's quickest by foot messenger.
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It’s a little complicated, since we live in a tree.
[Then again, how many other people can say that. Nonetheless she gives him her address or general whereabouts because how does this work? In a tree outside of Wyver. It’s a nice place, really. More along the lines of those obnoxious rich people tree houses than a child’s fort.]
…Or I could come fetch it, since you were so kind as to keep it safe for me.
i can't believe we're still threading without axel on his own ic inbox
[Slumming it, if you ask him.] You can, if you're willing to make the trip. Please leave your guns and thugs at home. It's no trouble for me to send it out or meet you halfway, either.
:'D I'm so sorry axel
I would rather make sure it does not fall into anyone else's hands. I will come calling tomorrow.
[And she makes the trip to Olympia quite often. She may live in Wyver, but it's not really her speed.]
...Until then, please do not send any more strange messages.
you snooze you lose ig
Toodles!
[—then he hangs up. See you on the flip side, sugar pie.]
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he was not snoozing he was BEING POLITE GOSH
At least SOMEONE IS
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