[Okay, he's convinced now that she is in fact not pulling his leg at all. He'll make note of this poker face issue, but ferret it away for later. In the moment, there are more pressing concerns. He pulls out his phone and opens up the text thread, then hands the device to her, shaking his head.]
Well, somebody found it, and has been having a grand time, to say the least.
[He can't really be angry. Like... well played, honestly. He's more glad that it was a prank than he could ever be angry that Allura wasn't in danger.]
[She takes his device, holding it close to her face, as if that will somehow make sense of the mysterious string of messages. Most definitely not her. But sent from her device somehow? Which was still missing, ever since...
Suddenly-]
Richie! [Her face goes from normal to beat red in record time, voice tipping into a higher octave as she scrolls through the messages.] That's right! He stole it when- and then we- So I never! Ohh!
[Did you catch all of that? Also, a more clever person might try and take this opportunity to try and get back at Richie and mess with him, but Allura is not that person, and she's already impulsively pushing the CALL button. Whether he picks up or she gets sent to voicemail he'll get a cheerful message:]
Richie, what the quiznak do you think you are doing?
[not that he was expecting to get away with shit but for Pete's sakes, Keith was the only one who called him out unprompted. Then again, Axel was the most proactive. Hmm hmm...]
Until they smartened up? Seriously sweetie, it worries me. Is mister Axel still there? I want to give him points for tracking you down but if he bought it hook, line, and sinker? That's a powerful shame, honeychile. What happens when the chips really lay down?
[Unsurprising, but she’s still concerned by the way he’s talking about multiple conversations. And she hasn’t forgotten what started this whole mess to begin with: harassing her about her love life.]
Is there anyone else you messaged that I need to know about.
[sad that a grown ass man should amuse himself so callously]
Ah — well, Lance also knows I'm not you. But that's settled! It's all fine, kiddo, we're practically family now. We're having a barbecue on Sunday, you bring the ribs and I'll bring the baked beans, have one of your boys come along with the cornbread and we'll eat like kings!
[Richie why. At least nothing seems to be permanently broken or in need of too much mending. Axel seems to be enjoying himself, Keith is… well, there's nothing Richie could do to make that more awkward anyway, and surely Lance had a good laugh about it too. No harm but she’s save a sigh of relief until later because she’s still pretty peeved about the whole thing!
She doesn’t know if he deserves any answers after this so, with the flattest, most unamused voice she can muster:]
[You can hear the flop of his carcass into couch cushions as he takes his rest at last. Mission nearly accomplished.]
You see, I didn't know who to trust to get the phone back to you, and I wasn't about to go asking after a young lady's house on the network. I'd get lynch-mobbed. Even if I didn't, some shady fucker could go taking advantage of public announcements like that. Sooo...Axel's a good one, I take it?
[Oh. She supposes he didn't really have a good way of finding her. Especially since she vacated her home in Olympia. Hm.]
Axel is good, correct. [She says, glancing at Axel, who has been standing politely this whole time,] As are Keith and Lance, they are my fellow paladins and my friends.
[Friends. Don't read too much into the emphasis there.]
So all of this... [A wave of her hand, even if he can't see it.] nonsense was just testing them to see whom you could trust?
[Listen, Richie, it’s very complicated. And by all means this is much better than when she was romantically involved with someone who turned out to be a murderer. Don’t judge her life choices.]
It’s a little complicated, since we live in a tree.
[Then again, how many other people can say that. Nonetheless she gives him her address or general whereabouts because how does this work? In a tree outside of Wyver. It’s a nice place, really. More along the lines of those obnoxious rich people tree houses than a child’s fort.]
…Or I could come fetch it, since you were so kind as to keep it safe for me.
i can't believe we're still threading without axel on his own ic inbox
[Slumming it, if you ask him.] You can, if you're willing to make the trip. Please leave your guns and thugs at home. It's no trouble for me to send it out or meet you halfway, either.
[Axel has spent most of the conversation with his chin in one palm, listening to Allura's side of it with interest. He has to admit he's a little flattered by her words. He often has a hard time thinking of himself as 'good' (even if he doesn't really think of himself as 'bad'), so her endorsement is a bit bolstering. He shakes his head, grinning as he accepts the phone back from her.]
Don't apologize, I'm just glad you weren't kidnapped and being held for ransom for a dragon bone monkey idol. [He snorts a laugh.] For what it's worth, I was just kidding when I asked if you'd been kidnapped, 'cuz it didn't seem like your speaking or texting style, so I thought maybe somethin' was off. When... ah, Richie, did you say? When he said yes, though, I was like... well, crap, now what? Like I was pretty sure someone was having a laugh at my expense, but I wasn't about to risk it on the very slim chance it was legitimate, you know?
[Maybe she'll laugh about it later, but for now she's just going to pout over it, still riled up and feeling very much like the subject of a practical joke. She'll get over it soon. No fun allowed.]
It just sits poorly with me to make someone worry unnecessarily.
[She leaves the door open behind her for Axel to follow as he sees fit, meanwhile she's gathering a few things for her sudden, impromptu trip to Olympia.]
What if something happens for real, and the next time you are less likely to believe it?
Pshaw. [He says with affected enunciation, stepping inside after her and closing the door over.] I suspected pretty much from the get-go that it was BS, but I still came, 'cuz... I mean, what about that minuscule chance it wasn't BS, you know?
[He watches her fuss for a moment, gathering some items to head toward Olympia, and then impulsively reaches out to brush her arm with the back of one hand.]
Hey. I mean it, okay? [He pauses a moment, just giving her a serious look.] I mean, sure, if you'd been the one yanking my chain and you made a habit of it, we might have to have a discussion about what is and is not an appropriate prank, but I'm not gonna count this against you. [He ventures a crooked smile and wags a finger at her.] I made a promise, once, that I'd always be there for my friends, so don't you worry about me not showing up if you're in a bind, got it memorized?
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Well, somebody found it, and has been having a grand time, to say the least.
[He can't really be angry. Like... well played, honestly. He's more glad that it was a prank than he could ever be angry that Allura wasn't in danger.]
> CALL Richie
[She takes his device, holding it close to her face, as if that will somehow make sense of the mysterious string of messages. Most definitely not her. But sent from her device somehow? Which was still missing, ever since...
Suddenly-]
Richie! [Her face goes from normal to beat red in record time, voice tipping into a higher octave as she scrolls through the messages.] That's right! He stole it when- and then we- So I never! Ohh!
[Did you catch all of that? Also, a more clever person might try and take this opportunity to try and get back at Richie and mess with him, but Allura is not that person, and she's already impulsively pushing the CALL button. Whether he picks up or she gets sent to voicemail he'll get a cheerful message:]
Richie, what the quiznak do you think you are doing?
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Did you get—
[Ow, his ear. Richie goes still for a moment.
Then he's beaming bright on the airwaves.]
Alluuuura! Baby! Doll! There you are! He made it back to you, did he?
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Are you... Are you impersonating me?
[She's pacing in front of Axel, one hand curled in a fist while the other cradles the phone to her ear.]
Just how long were you going to go on with this?
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Until they smartened up? Seriously sweetie, it worries me. Is mister Axel still there? I want to give him points for tracking you down but if he bought it hook, line, and sinker? That's a powerful shame, honeychile. What happens when the chips really lay down?
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Axel is here, because you had him worried that I'd been kidnapped, and—
[Wait.]
What do you mean They?
[No... he couldn't have.]
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[ah...
The line goes silent. and then]
Tell Keith Uncle Randy says hi.
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I certainly hope Keith didn't believe that.
[There are multiple reasons why there can't be an Uncle Randy in Allura's life.
All of those reasons involving alien genocide.]That's my favourite icon
Richie gets the highest frequency of exasperated faces.
Is there anyone else you messaged that I need to know about.
[And apologize to?]
a badge of honor in trashmouth circles
Ah — well, Lance also knows I'm not you. But that's settled! It's all fine, kiddo, we're practically family now. We're having a barbecue on Sunday, you bring the ribs and I'll bring the baked beans, have one of your boys come along with the cornbread and we'll eat like kings!
Now. Can you clear something up for me?
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She doesn’t know if he deserves any answers after this so, with the flattest, most unamused voice she can muster:]
...What is it?
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[You can hear the flop of his carcass into couch cushions as he takes his rest at last. Mission nearly accomplished.]
You see, I didn't know who to trust to get the phone back to you, and I wasn't about to go asking after a young lady's house on the network. I'd get lynch-mobbed. Even if I didn't, some shady fucker could go taking advantage of public announcements like that. Sooo...Axel's a good one, I take it?
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Axel is good, correct. [She says, glancing at Axel, who has been standing politely this whole time,] As are Keith and Lance, they are my fellow paladins and my friends.
[Friends. Don't read too much into the emphasis there.]
So all of this... [A wave of her hand, even if he can't see it.] nonsense was just testing them to see whom you could trust?
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[your emphasis is highly suspect. don't think u can fool him]
More or less. I'd say seventy-five percent good intentions. How could I resist squeezing in a few shits and giggles?
Your address, Madam. Or his. Whichever's quickest by foot messenger.
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It’s a little complicated, since we live in a tree.
[Then again, how many other people can say that. Nonetheless she gives him her address or general whereabouts because how does this work? In a tree outside of Wyver. It’s a nice place, really. More along the lines of those obnoxious rich people tree houses than a child’s fort.]
…Or I could come fetch it, since you were so kind as to keep it safe for me.
i can't believe we're still threading without axel on his own ic inbox
[Slumming it, if you ask him.] You can, if you're willing to make the trip. Please leave your guns and thugs at home. It's no trouble for me to send it out or meet you halfway, either.
:'D I'm so sorry axel
I would rather make sure it does not fall into anyone else's hands. I will come calling tomorrow.
[And she makes the trip to Olympia quite often. She may live in Wyver, but it's not really her speed.]
...Until then, please do not send any more strange messages.
you snooze you lose ig
Toodles!
[—then he hangs up. See you on the flip side, sugar pie.]
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She turns back towards Axel, offering the phone back,]
I am so sorry about all of that.
he was not snoozing he was BEING POLITE GOSH
Don't apologize, I'm just glad you weren't kidnapped and being held for ransom for a dragon bone monkey idol. [He snorts a laugh.] For what it's worth, I was just kidding when I asked if you'd been kidnapped, 'cuz it didn't seem like your speaking or texting style, so I thought maybe somethin' was off. When... ah, Richie, did you say? When he said yes, though, I was like... well, crap, now what? Like I was pretty sure someone was having a laugh at my expense, but I wasn't about to risk it on the very slim chance it was legitimate, you know?
At least SOMEONE IS
Another sigh and she's heading back inside the treehouse, shaking her head,]
Even so. It's not a very funny prank that he pulled.
[
Do you know how many fictional Princesses get kidnapped a year, Richie?!]Thank you... for checking up on me though. Did you come all this way from Olympia?
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[Come on, you have to give him a little credit for creativity, at least. He pulls at the back of his neck then.]
Well, yeah, I mean. I live there, and you live here, so... If there really was somethin' going on I wasn't just about to ignore it, got it memorized?
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No fun allowed.]It just sits poorly with me to make someone worry unnecessarily.
[She leaves the door open behind her for Axel to follow as he sees fit, meanwhile she's gathering a few things for her sudden, impromptu trip to Olympia.]
What if something happens for real, and the next time you are less likely to believe it?
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[He watches her fuss for a moment, gathering some items to head toward Olympia, and then impulsively reaches out to brush her arm with the back of one hand.]
Hey. I mean it, okay? [He pauses a moment, just giving her a serious look.] I mean, sure, if you'd been the one yanking my chain and you made a habit of it, we might have to have a discussion about what is and is not an appropriate prank, but I'm not gonna count this against you. [He ventures a crooked smile and wags a finger at her.] I made a promise, once, that I'd always be there for my friends, so don't you worry about me not showing up if you're in a bind, got it memorized?
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