[He sort of snorts in amusement, less because he finds her anger funny and more because he went through the same sort of thing many years ago, back when the Darkness too his world from him the first time.]
Yeah, well... Sadly the Darkness never gets input from a focus group before doing whatever the hell it wants.
Yeah, well... maybe it should. Or learn some discipline or somethin'.
[ Pot, kettle.
She's rising from the floor into the air now, though. At least she can do that much if... sadly, really. To be unable to perform spatial jumps is as saddening as it is inconvenient. She's moving to the couch now, at least. ]
Yeah, I think the Darkness never received proper parenting, so now it's just very badly behaved and doesn't understand that actions have consequences.
[He actually splutters at her question, though, looking downright indignant.]
'Do we have ice cream?', she asks. What do you take me for, woman? [Basically as soon as he found a place that sold ice cream, he's been making sure to keep at least three cartons in the freezer at all times.] You want vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry? [He wags a finger at her then.] Ah, wait--Neapolitan. You look like you need some Neapolitan. [Whatever a Neapolitan is. All he knows is that means all three flavors, and why he never thought to try combining sea salt with anything else before haunts him now. How good would sea salt and chocolate have been? Will he ever get the chance to find out, now?]
[ Because what's shame? Is that also edible? Can it be placed atop ice cream and eaten because she'd eat it if so. She's genuinely curious as she settles atop the couch, drawing her legs up and balancing the drink in hand expertly.
As though she'd spill a drop. ]
Maybe... the Darkness needs a time out.
[ Said the pot of the kettle, unwittingly describing her own history. ]
Got me. It means three flavors of ice cream layered together--usually vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry, in my experience--but I couldn't tell ya what the actual word means, or where it came from. I just heard it while I was on a mission once.
[Aaaand the anthropomorphization of Darkness continues. He laughs helplessly, pulling the three cartons of ice cream from the freezer and grabbing two bowls and two spoons. He runs one spoon under hot water so he can start doling out the ice cream, and then shakes his head.]
Yeah, I think Darkness is grounded. No conquering worlds for a month. See if that teaches it a lesson.
I guess the name doesn't matter all that much as long as it tastes good. It sounds good, anyway.
[ The flavors, not the name. Seriously, what sort of name is Neapolitan, anyway? Why not something else like... uh, like... eh, it'll come to her later. She takes a sip of her drink, wondering at Axel's proposed punishment as she looks into the cup again. ]
I like it, but then, I've yet to meet an ice cream I didn't like, so the bar ain't too high, all things considered.
[He sighs then, finishing filling the bowls and putting the ice cream back in the freezer. He moves back out to the couch and hands one of the bowls to Ryoko, frowning.]
If it doesn't... I really dunno. [He's okay with hedging his bets on Sora and Riku defeating the Darkness one of these days, but until then...] We may have to resort to corporal punishment.
[ Ryoko snorts at his initial statement regarding the bar for ice cream and accepts that bowl gratefully. She lifts her drink to leave it floating in place mid-air. No big. ]
"Might," he says.
[ She shovels a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth with that, then pauses, squinting at the bowl. Don't mind her reaching for her cup to dump her booze into the bowl. ]
Hey, if you can figure out how to actually give Darkness a good whupping, please let me know, 'cause I am all for it.
[He watches in something like appall for a moment then as she proceeds to dump her beverage... into the bowl of ice cream, and he scratches his head.]
That's... different. I've heard of people drizzling cordials on their ice cream, but never... What are you drinking, anyhow? Rum? Vodka? [He's not even sure what the local booze offerings are, he's not a big drinker, himself. He shrugs again.] I guess, whatever lights your kindling.
Sake's rice wine, yah? But... I guess most booze is made from grains of some sort, right? [He doesn't really know, he doesn't drink much. He has to laugh a little, though; Ryoko just seems so enthused about this.]
Ah... sure, I guess I'll give it a try. One drink can't hurt.
[ Famous last words, indeed. The corners of Ryoko's mouth didn't just tug dramatically upward either. If he's gonna have it, he's gonna have it straight and right and well and this sees her literally will the bowl in her hands to rest atop the table with her mind. Now she's going up, up, up and into the booze cache at the end of the beam she sleeps atop. ]
Okay! So we've got some options. Do you want what I was having just now or would you like to be even more adventurous?
[ She's... legitimately eying a line of bottles at the end of this beam. RIP, Axel. ]
[Uh oh. What's with that Grinch grin? He watches her levitate the bowl to the table, which is... really really cool, to be honest, and then waits while she floats up to her rafter to examine her stash. Which he hadn't even realized was there, actually. Good Light.]
Uh... I dunno, surprise me?
[Axel, no.]
I like sweets, so... I dunno, something flavor... y.
[ Flavory? Well, that makes her wrinkle her nose just a smidge. Flavor is... kind of sort of a bit of a problem for Ryoko given that her taste buds are quite tone-deaf in the tasting department. Strength she can gauge and she knows some words have associations, so she takes a moment to skim her selection, wondering at the names of the brands. A moment later, she's picked something she thinks sounds sweet and she's floating to grab her saucer an an additional cup.
Just don't ask her where she got such things. ]
This should do the trick!
[ And she plops gently down by him on the soda with her legs crossed. The bottle is in one hand and the saucer and cups in the other. Give her a jiffy to pop the cork into rebounding off the ceiling and pour him a proper cup and offer it to him with a big old smile on her face.
[He has no idea what he's getting himself into. Sure, Axel's had a drink here and there in his life, but it isn't a habit he indulges in often. Ryoko... always seems to have a drink in her hand, so the idea that she literally can't really tell what anything tastes like hasn't even crossed his mind.]
[He leans back into the couch as she returns with a bottle and a saucer cup, and he can smell how strong this stuff is as soon as she pops the cork. He's hardly a connoisseur, but anybody who's ever had a hangover in their life knows the smell of a really strong drink when they encounter it. He's got no idea what Ryoko's pouring, but he suddenly thinks maybe he should have been a little more specific after all.]
[Hesitantly, he sits forward and accepts the saucer. Well, it's small, at least; it isn't like she poured him a big stein of this paint thinner. Axel has decided it's high time he really did become a man of his word, and Light dammit, he said he would have a drink with her, and so have a drink he shall. He lifts the saucer gingerly in half a toast toward her, then throws it back.]
[--And instantly coughs, barely keeping from spraying her as he does so. Holy moly that's some strong stuff right there. He manages to swallow it all without actually choking, but it burns all the way down his throat, and leaves his whole face feeling too warm. Clearing his throat, he shakes his head quickly and gives Ryoko a startled sort of look.]
Phew! Man... that's... [A sharp exhale and he rubs at one eyebrow.] And you chug your weight in this stuff like every night? [How are you not dead.]
[ At that first cough, Ryoko can't help the corners of her mouth tugging upward into a smile that's perhaps a bit too big for her face and, well, she laughs. She can't not laugh. It wasn't her intention to evoke such a reaction with her choice this time, mind you, but it's.. still very much funny to her considering the poison she picked was one she downs easy and frequently. Maybe give her a minute to stop holding her side with one hand. ]
Well, yeah. What else am I going to drink? Water?
[ That's even funnier, actually, and she bursts out laughing again. ]
[He clears his throat and then gives her an odd look.]
Wh... I mean, maybe? [One eyebrow inches up toward his hairline.] I'm made'a mostly water, aren't you? [Well, maybe he's made of mostly Darkness, as he is now, but the point still stands.] I know y'ain't exactly human, but are people from your world made up of carbon and booze?
Whoa, easy, I didn't mean any offense. But, I mean... ya got those yellow cat eyes and the elf ears and you told me you're like five thousand-some years old. [He ticks these things off on his fingers as he goes.] You can drink your weight in booze and not die, and also you can fly and shoot lasers out of your hands. So, I mean... [He shrugs.] I've been to a lot of places and met a lot of people, but I never met a human that could do all that.
[He shakes his head then and turns his palms upward, a sort of offering gesture.]
Look, I ain't exactly human either, it's not an insult.
[ A touch sensitive? Ryoko has never claimed she isn't when it comes to certain things, but there's something in the way that Axel ticks off his points that keeps her from shaking into tears and, or outrage. There's no name calling, for one, and he isn't rude or demeaning, leaving her not quite at a loss, but rubbing at the back of her head all the same. ]
I figured. You're obviously humanoid, but you don't smell like any Earthling I've met.
[ Not naturally, anyway. He smells like fire and kind of earthy, wet... ]
[He could never call her names. He likes her, for starters, but Axel has a little more class than that--when he insults people, he definitely does it with a bit more flair than your run of the mill bully, okay. Her remark would catch him off guard if Zexion hadn't always been so weird about smelling Darkness all the time. He can smell it, too; there's a distinctive sort of aura to Nobodies and others who have had extended contact with the Darkness (he can smell it on Riku, too, though it's a little different, because the kid still has a heart). Still, he raises one arm to sniff, and then gives Ryoko a feigned look of apology.]
Sorry. I showered yesterday, I promise. [Please clap.]
Far out? [He puzzles for a moment before he realizes she's probably asking about his travels.] Ah, that's... it's a little more complicated than that. The way my colleagues and I traveled wasn't exactly linear, so it's less about distance, really. The different worlds, where I come from... they're scattered, like... [He makes a gesture like dropping something from his hand.] Like if you dropped a hollow glass sphere, and the pieces just went everywhere. They were all connected once, a really long time ago, and when they split apart, some drifted really far, and others didn't go far at all, but they're all still entirely separated, and most worlds don't even realize there are other worlds out there, anymore. [He narrows his eyes a little, curious.] 'Earthling', there's a word I don't hear too often. I think a lot of the worlds I've been to used to be part of a larger one called Earth, but no one uses that word for their world anymore.
[ She snorts at his initial response only to find herself blinking as she works through the scientific process of how exactly this whole split world business would have occurred, which results in more blinking. ]
Earth is a planet, but it's also a pretty universal term referring to dirt or soil, so.
[ A gesture. She's kind of a little undecided on where to go with this... entire conversation, really. It would've been a lot easier if he'd been mean. ]
You remember my profile on that thing, right?
[ That's it, "that thing". "That stupid, damned thing" now that she thinks about it, actually. ]
Oh, so you're calling me a dirtling, I see. Rude. I have a very thorough hygiene regimen, okay.
[He is, of course, kidding as usual. Well, not about he hygiene part, but. Oh, you know what he means.]
The thing? Oh, right, the thing, yeah, ah... science experiment, pirate, demon... sake, comics... [He glances at her, then at the flask of booze.] You'd probably be less thirsty if you drank water, just sayin'.
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I'm so sick of this! It's ridiculous! Damned Darkness doing stupid, stupid.. things!
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Yeah, well... Sadly the Darkness never gets input from a focus group before doing whatever the hell it wants.
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[ Pot, kettle.
She's rising from the floor into the air now, though. At least she can do that much if... sadly, really. To be unable to perform spatial jumps is as saddening as it is inconvenient. She's moving to the couch now, at least. ]
Do we have any ice cream?
[ Because ice cream and booze absolutely mix. ]
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Yeah, I think the Darkness never received proper parenting, so now it's just very badly behaved and doesn't understand that actions have consequences.
[He actually splutters at her question, though, looking downright indignant.]
'Do we have ice cream?', she asks. What do you take me for, woman? [Basically as soon as he found a place that sold ice cream, he's been making sure to keep at least three cartons in the freezer at all times.] You want vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry? [He wags a finger at her then.] Ah, wait--Neapolitan. You look like you need some Neapolitan. [Whatever a Neapolitan is. All he knows is that means all three flavors, and why he never thought to try combining sea salt with anything else before haunts him now. How good would sea salt and chocolate have been? Will he ever get the chance to find out, now?]
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[ Because what's shame? Is that also edible? Can it be placed atop ice cream and eaten because she'd eat it if so. She's genuinely curious as she settles atop the couch, drawing her legs up and balancing the drink in hand expertly.
As though she'd spill a drop. ]
Maybe... the Darkness needs a time out.
[ Said the pot of the kettle, unwittingly describing her own history. ]
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Got me. It means three flavors of ice cream layered together--usually vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry, in my experience--but I couldn't tell ya what the actual word means, or where it came from. I just heard it while I was on a mission once.
[Aaaand the anthropomorphization of Darkness continues. He laughs helplessly, pulling the three cartons of ice cream from the freezer and grabbing two bowls and two spoons. He runs one spoon under hot water so he can start doling out the ice cream, and then shakes his head.]
Yeah, I think Darkness is grounded. No conquering worlds for a month. See if that teaches it a lesson.
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[ The flavors, not the name. Seriously, what sort of name is Neapolitan, anyway? Why not something else like... uh, like... eh, it'll come to her later. She takes a sip of her drink, wondering at Axel's proposed punishment as she looks into the cup again. ]
What if it doesn't?
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[He sighs then, finishing filling the bowls and putting the ice cream back in the freezer. He moves back out to the couch and hands one of the bowls to Ryoko, frowning.]
If it doesn't... I really dunno. [He's okay with hedging his bets on Sora and Riku defeating the Darkness one of these days, but until then...] We may have to resort to corporal punishment.
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"Might," he says.
[ She shovels a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth with that, then pauses, squinting at the bowl. Don't mind her reaching for her cup to dump her booze into the bowl. ]
It's outta control. If it comes to that...
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Hey, if you can figure out how to actually give Darkness a good whupping, please let me know, 'cause I am all for it.
[He watches in something like appall for a moment then as she proceeds to dump her beverage... into the bowl of ice cream, and he scratches his head.]
That's... different. I've heard of people drizzling cordials on their ice cream, but never... What are you drinking, anyhow? Rum? Vodka? [He's not even sure what the local booze offerings are, he's not a big drinker, himself. He shrugs again.] I guess, whatever lights your kindling.
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[ She doesn't seem to notice that expression of his, sticking her spoon into her newly made booze float enthusiastically. ]
It's the closest thing they said they had to sake when I described it to the clerk. It's good stuff. You wanna try some? I got a ton!
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Sake's rice wine, yah? But... I guess most booze is made from grains of some sort, right? [He doesn't really know, he doesn't drink much. He has to laugh a little, though; Ryoko just seems so enthused about this.]
Ah... sure, I guess I'll give it a try. One drink can't hurt.
[Famous last words, Axel...]
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Okay! So we've got some options. Do you want what I was having just now or would you like to be even more adventurous?
[ She's... legitimately eying a line of bottles at the end of this beam. RIP, Axel. ]
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Uh... I dunno, surprise me?
[Axel, no.]
I like sweets, so... I dunno, something flavor... y.
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Just don't ask her where she got such things. ]
This should do the trick!
[ And she plops gently down by him on the soda with her legs crossed. The bottle is in one hand and the saucer and cups in the other. Give her a jiffy to pop the cork into rebounding off the ceiling and pour him a proper cup and offer it to him with a big old smile on her face.
RIP, Axel. It's not El Nysan absinthe, but... ]
Well? Go on!
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[He leans back into the couch as she returns with a bottle and a saucer cup, and he can smell how strong this stuff is as soon as she pops the cork. He's hardly a connoisseur, but anybody who's ever had a hangover in their life knows the smell of a really strong drink when they encounter it. He's got no idea what Ryoko's pouring, but he suddenly thinks maybe he should have been a little more specific after all.]
[Hesitantly, he sits forward and accepts the saucer. Well, it's small, at least; it isn't like she poured him a big stein of this paint thinner. Axel has decided it's high time he really did become a man of his word, and Light dammit, he said he would have a drink with her, and so have a drink he shall. He lifts the saucer gingerly in half a toast toward her, then throws it back.]
[--And instantly coughs, barely keeping from spraying her as he does so. Holy moly that's some strong stuff right there. He manages to swallow it all without actually choking, but it burns all the way down his throat, and leaves his whole face feeling too warm. Clearing his throat, he shakes his head quickly and gives Ryoko a startled sort of look.]
Phew! Man... that's... [A sharp exhale and he rubs at one eyebrow.] And you chug your weight in this stuff like every night? [How are you not dead.]
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Well, yeah. What else am I going to drink? Water?
[ That's even funnier, actually, and she bursts out laughing again. ]
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Wh... I mean, maybe? [One eyebrow inches up toward his hairline.] I'm made'a mostly water, aren't you? [Well, maybe he's made of mostly Darkness, as he is now, but the point still stands.] I know y'ain't exactly human, but are people from your world made up of carbon and booze?
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Oh, and Axel? No. ]
Not exactly human? What's that supposed to mean?
[ She's putting a pin in the whole world bit. That can wait. ]
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Whoa, easy, I didn't mean any offense. But, I mean... ya got those yellow cat eyes and the elf ears and you told me you're like five thousand-some years old. [He ticks these things off on his fingers as he goes.] You can drink your weight in booze and not die, and also you can fly and shoot lasers out of your hands. So, I mean... [He shrugs.] I've been to a lot of places and met a lot of people, but I never met a human that could do all that.
[He shakes his head then and turns his palms upward, a sort of offering gesture.]
Look, I ain't exactly human either, it's not an insult.
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I figured. You're obviously humanoid, but you don't smell like any Earthling I've met.
[ Not naturally, anyway. He smells like fire and kind of earthy, wet... ]
Just how far out have you been, anyway?
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Sorry. I showered yesterday, I promise. [
Please clap.]Far out? [He puzzles for a moment before he realizes she's probably asking about his travels.] Ah, that's... it's a little more complicated than that. The way my colleagues and I traveled wasn't exactly linear, so it's less about distance, really. The different worlds, where I come from... they're scattered, like... [He makes a gesture like dropping something from his hand.] Like if you dropped a hollow glass sphere, and the pieces just went everywhere. They were all connected once, a really long time ago, and when they split apart, some drifted really far, and others didn't go far at all, but they're all still entirely separated, and most worlds don't even realize there are other worlds out there, anymore. [He narrows his eyes a little, curious.] 'Earthling', there's a word I don't hear too often. I think a lot of the worlds I've been to used to be part of a larger one called Earth, but no one uses that word for their world anymore.
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Earth is a planet, but it's also a pretty universal term referring to dirt or soil, so.
[ A gesture. She's kind of a little undecided on where to go with this... entire conversation, really. It would've been a lot easier if he'd been mean. ]
You remember my profile on that thing, right?
[ That's it, "that thing". "That stupid, damned thing" now that she thinks about it, actually. ]
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[He is, of course, kidding as usual. Well, not about he hygiene part, but. Oh, you know what he means.]
The thing? Oh, right, the thing, yeah, ah... science experiment, pirate, demon... sake, comics... [He glances at her, then at the flask of booze.] You'd probably be less thirsty if you drank water, just sayin'.
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[ She's got several of his little shower concerts recorded on her phone. Been thinking about making a playlist out of it, maybe. ]
The water thing isn't happenin -- hey!
[ Someone is deserving of a pinch? She's trying to be serious here!!! She may be pouting. ]
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